WOTM: An Interview with @kafkassque

31 AUGUST 2021

Trigger warnings: This article contains mentions of sexual trauma

The Writer of the Month Project is a revised segment of The Plain Poets that looks into what makes a writer, be it their craft or ideas. At the end of every month, we will be conducting an interview with a selected writer, and we’ll be diving into their muses, their writing history and much more.

Dol Leander (@kafkassque on Instagram) is a queer writer and arts student based in the south of the United States. Although posting his works on Instagram has been fairly recent, he’s been writing for several years as of today. As a creator of a writing account, he perceives himself as “one of those nasty things no one can manage to get rid of” but it’s been working alright (for him) so far.

(Author’s Note: that quote reminded me of this video I’M SORRY)

If you were to ask him the reason why he wrote, it had to do with his need for attention and praise as a child. Over the years, it gradually developed into something he needed for himself. To sum it up, writing helped him journal the dreams that resonated the most. They were often tied to real-life emotions he felt, and writing became a form of catharsis. It helped him talk about his unhealthy relationships with himself and those around him. In a way, his craft actually involves him spilling his guts without actually admitting anything. Many would assume his works would just be a clusterfuck of metaphors, but honestly... he means it quite literally.

Basically, when people really believe what he writes and follow the storyline through his work, they’ll be surprised to find out that what really happened is quite boring. The expectations vs reality of his work is a stark contrast of parallels, especially when people assume posting time is interrelated to when it really happened prior to writing it out. It amuses him either way.

He also admits that he’s interested in writing about softer topics: “I think I'm starting to get to a place where I can write about nicer things without feeling like I'm outright lying to myself.”

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As a writer, Dol cites general human anatomy (inside and outside) as one of his favourite themes. Human connections and interactions have often intrigued him, as well as the way how our bodies have been carved. Writing about the ways humans interact with different shapes have helped him process his trauma on numerous occasions. Regardless of how explicit or implicit the references are, sex is also another major theme reflected in his works such as these poems: behold a man! and note to self: don’t fuck “straight” men. He talks about how his addiction to the endorphins (produced during sex) brought both pleasure and pain in his life, and it became a way to cope with his trauma.

His personal experiences and background, too affect his writing. Although Dol notes that he’s living much closer to liberal areas in the South, he reveals that growing up as trans and queer (here) significantly impacted his perception. “Personal experiences with jumping from church to church impacted me as well as experiences with sexual assault.” he says. “This religious trauma paired with sexual trauma, all tied to this area I live in, built up this shame that led to unhealthy coping mechanisms, all of this which I write about". His work, this body is just no good, talks about the sexual ways he tried to deal with those feelings, and how it struck a chord with his day-to-day thoughts and actions.

In terms of colours associated with his pieces, the writer paints the colours of bruises and blood that comes from violence (think of red, black, blue, green, purple etc.). To him, his work feels like the aftermath of a fight— people are pulling themselves up and stringing their souls back together. Heads are hung from shame and loss, and everything hurts. Wounds are aching and limbs are sore. Dol doesn’t shy away from brutal imagery when it comes to his creative expression. For example, if he’s writing about an infection, he does not go for flowery language that gets him beating ‘round the bush. He’ll go for pus instead, since the coarse language leaves a deeper, more meaningful impact.

One of the things he hates about being a writer is reading the final result after working on the piece. At the end of the day, he doesn’t like seeing himself with spilled guts and so much vulnerability. On the other hand, he has a love-hate relationship with the idea of how his work is seen/analysed by his readers. Dol tells me about how he sees his life as a “cycle of monotony and vulgarity”, and while it flatters him to know that people get it, it unsettles him at the same time.

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Dol’s top three items as a writer include music, a notebook and a pen. Oftentimes, music is a huge factor to capture the essence of the draft, and in some ways, enhance his creativity. It’s become a habit of sorts, where he can’t create without listening to something. He also points out that his Spotify is linked on @kafkassque for this reason. Whereas for the stationery, he prefers to write his pieces down. Typing it out doesn’t really sit right with him, and he actually likes seeing the organic mess in writing (pen marks, messy drafts etc.). But I’ll have to let you in on a secret: when he dies, his notebooks will be destroyed (either by request or by the writer himself). He doesn’t want his legacy tied to the awful and raw things he wrote.

If you want advice on starting a writing account on Instagram, his advice is simple. Your work should be for yourself first, and not for the people who see it on the platform. He continues to say that besides Instagram, you have to find other sources of creative motivation because relying on your profile to be happy and driven will lead to burnout. Interacting with other writers is also a great way to find your friends too, and to engage in amazing conversations.

For those who are still skeptical about posting on Instagram, there’s also tips for those who want to start writing in general. Dol advises to combine reading and writing when it comes to developing your work. “Read it out so you can actually hear the way your writing sounds,” he says. If you want, keep a notebook and pen next to your bed, in case something pops up. Although most of them end up as scraps, there’s always something to try, and you can gage a pattern while you focus on your work.

Right now, Dol is building his creative portfolio and applying to colleges in real time. He’s currently taking two classes to grow his writing and art, and he hopes that he can reach his full potential and personal growth in real time. He is also intrigued by his dreams to publish someday, but he wants to start small first, via literary magazine submissions. But he doesn’t deny that publishing a book (an anthology of poetry or short stories) is definitely on the horizon. Following up on it is an entirely different story, but that’s not my story to tell.

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Here at The Plain Poets, we aim to identify these unique poets and writers and to put them on a pedestal via a platform everyone can support them. You may check out our page here.