WOTM: An Interview with @crudesko

31 JULY 2021

Trigger warnings: the following article mentions sexual assault, death, bullying, mental health and depression.

The Writer of the Month Project is a revised segment of The Plain Poets that looks into what makes a writer, be it their craft or ideas. At the end of every month, we will be conducting an interview with a selected writer, and we’ll be diving into their muses, their writing history and much more.

Siddaq Kler, properly known as @crudesko on Instagram, is a 20-year old writer and biotechnology student based in Chandigrah, India. In the time I’d gotten to know and interact with her online, I realised two things: not only was she a great friend and person, but Siddaq was also a great writer. Although I do confess that I have a soft spot for her (from our friendship), I can’t help but also admit that I am intrigued; enamoured by her words. That is the main reason why I decided to select her for July’s Writer of the Month.

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Initially, Siddaq started to write because she had no one to talk to. Growing up, she reveals that she was molested as a child, and bullied up to her teenage years. As a result of her sexual assault last year, she has turned to poetry to cope and comes to terms of acceptance with what had happened to her. Paying homage to Emily Dickinson, she thanks the famous poet for guiding her onto a creative path. It was through Dickinson’s poetry that she was able to understand her emotions and trauma, process her thoughts, and find a cathartic outlet that resonated. To her, poetry was the amplification of her voice and it gave back her power.

Her choice of themes, too, reflect her thoughts and mind process. The writer does incorporate darker imagery, and talks about how death is a major concept in her life and work. “My poetry revolves around how death is always there in every emotion,” she explains, “Like love, anger, greed, heartbreak, death is always there. It's probably because I've faced death in my life many times.” On many occasions, Siddaq claims to have found herself close to being on death’s doorstep with both mental and physical health issues. In fact, she goes to say that she perceives death as a looming shadow behind her, following her around with threats to turn her organs against her. If not, death would appear in the form of her depression, which has altered her perception of what it was truly like to be in love, which was “just as deadly as being on a ventilator.”

Her influences today also extend to aspects of her life, and modern-day poets like Margaret Atwood. Anything works as a muse, be it a random news headline, or a personal issue she had to face. Metaphorical phrases and parallelism have greatly impacted the way she portrays her emotions, and being open to new styles have helped too. However, she does mostly prefer to stick to renaissance-era poetry (think of Shakespeare and Marlowe) mixed in with her own styles. It’s also the reason why her current Instagram feed is built off the visuals of romanticism and darkness of such an era.

(Although she’s definitely thinking of getting back to her original feed of journal snapshots but that’s a story for her to tell.)

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Likewise, a lot of her creative motivations come to her late at night. It usually starts off with a couple of keywords or ideas that need to be digitally taken down, followed by designing an outline offline. All of her poems are curated mainly on Google Docs – which definitely explains the meticulous format of her posts – but she also does say that sometimes, the structures don’t really matter that much. In fact, with just a rant and a handful of metaphors, she’s ready to go.

There are so many things she loves about being a poet. From the satisfactory relief of completing a piece to the unconditional support of her readers, she loves to create and express herself. She also loves savouring the exact moment when a piece comes out perfect – just as how she likes it because she herself admits that she’s a “spoiled poet”. Finally, she cites writing as this constant process of growth and self-expression. You could read something you wrote three years ago, and marvel at how much time had passed. Styles can change, and if you don’t realise it soon enough, you’ll get to be the writer you strive to be.

Funnily enough, she does have some oddly specific quirks that affect her writing process. In the beginning, she had to write with a 2HB pencil and sheets with a specific grid line. Eventually, her quirks switched to her being accustomed to writing only in her digital notes application. Right now, her writing quirk is divided into three requirements (or else it won’t work):

a) Times New Roman font, size 10

b) Google Documents (has to be opened beforehand)

c) Writing at some ungodly hour of the night

Writer’s block to Siddaq is inevitable, and that’s one thing she hates about being a writer. Falling into these slumps are her creative nightmare, and she hates how they can stretch on for months and days. Usually, she diagnoses this as a result of investing too much effort and time into writing a particular piece. However, she has tried, tested and true remedies to beat the block.

She advises all writers and poets reading this to not push themselves. Rather, that we are not writing for anyone but ourselves. If there is a slump creeping on, or if we’re stuck in an insurmountable slump, we should try to write about how we feel about this slump and incorporate metaphors if we want. Another working remedy is trying out prompts and challenges, although they may come with the risk of burnout and disinterest. We shouldn’t also compare our works to that of another poet, which is another thing she hates to go through as a writer/poet. Oftentimes, it can get toxic and draining as you think that your poetry doesn’t amount to anything.

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The last method to fix the slump – for her anyway – is to switch the writing environment (she recommends cafes and gardens!) and to conjure a random story out of the people we see.

“It’s best that you go at your own pace and read your previous works,” the writer continues, “Improvise them or read the works of other people. At times, being a reader instead of a writer is the change your brain needs.”

Although @crudesko is classified as a Writer on Instagram, she has taken on the air of being a Creator. For those who are thinking of joining the writers and poets community on Instagram, she recommends being consistent with your posting schedules and to tap into Reels when it comes to reach. In terms of securing the right audience, use the correct hashtags, tag poetry feature pages (like us) and don’t shy away from supporting other writers on the platform. She loves how Instagram’s writers and poets have been so kind and sweet, and how it’s not toxic at all. However, she does warn that organic growth can be a bit slow and overnight popularity takes a lot of luck.

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Like any writer out there, Siddaq definitely dreams to have her own published book of poems. Being surrounded by many writers in the community, she’s met a lot of people who published their own anthologies, or their own books in general. She wants to see her own words in her hand someday, let feel and buy her own book with her own hands and money. She compares it to a moment equivalent to motherhood, but instead of raising a child, it would be creating and watching it grow from scratch. In the next 5-7 years, she wants to publish once she’s compiled enough poems for a collection, and it’ll be about time before she gets to witness it in the hands of 5-5000 people. It’ll definitely be an experience she’ll never forget.

Here at The Plain Poets, we aim to identify these unique poets and writers and to put them on a pedestal via a platform everyone can support them. You may check out our page here.